thehushplayer

from youtube. not mine

I was bored. Watch macross frontier again. I wish i can use my com again. Then i can online 24/7 and watch anime. Aimo. Such sweet melody. Whenever i hear the song, i got flashbacks of the past. I was wearing slacks, tied up my hair. He was on my right. His hair grown and he was wearing his red and black spects. He had the song playing faintly through that time. Walking at the park. He hold my hand and pull me closer. I was weakened by his smell. And then, he kissed me. I was stunned. Really. So slowly i pu

Met dear. He doesn't seem in a good mood. Maybe he's demoralized by the tv. Or maybe he's tired of my bad habits or any offence i did to him. I wished i could make him better. I want to be there for him. I want to see him smile. To be like usual.
I feel helpless not being able to do anything. Send me to thinkings have i ever make him happy? Can i make him happy? I have no answers to such questions but i have the answer to this question-do i want to make him happy? The answer is yes. What can i do? He seem to be at the lowest point of life. I seem to be invisible. I tried to joke around but i guess i'm not good at that.
I want dear to know that i love him so much. Yes he did make me happy. I've always wanted to have my one and only. And i wanted him to be the one. Maybe he lacked of love from me or something. Maybe i didn't make him feel loved enough. Maybe i didn't make him feel appreciated. Whatever he've done, good or bad. I appreciates it. I'm trying to kick my bad habits. I'm trying to let go of the past for the sake of future.
I knew dear went through a lot. Both of us did. And we had different experiences. And maybe dear is too pressured with his responsiblities. I wished i could help him. I know in terms of money wise. It's hard to cope. Even my dad are having difficulities. As usual. But i'm too young. I can't do much. All i could do is study harder. Be smarter. Attain most of the education so that i can get a high pay job.To help dear, to help my family.
My heart was beating so fast when i was about to meet him. I was thinking to myself if i could make him happy. How thrilled it is to meet him after not meeting for a few days or maybe weeks. It felt so long. I wished i could have just hug him tight and give him a kiss. Make him know that i'm there for him. I still remembered the first time he cried on my shoulder. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. Seeing him like that urged me to want more from him. To want him to come to me. To want him to cry on me