(L): With the veritas flowing just as fast as the wine on our last-night-on-the-boat-booze-up, Zach and Cobie fessed-up to what could have been an embarrassing start to the voyage. When we embarked at Abel Point marina two days ago, the two of the them were carting the two boys’ rucksacks down to the double-bedded stateroom (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) when something started buzzing alarmingly in my bag.

After much nervous tittering and “You look.” “No, you do it.” They paper/scissors/stoned it to see who had to delve in and seize the offending device. You can imagine their relief (and ours!) when Cobie emerged with electric razor in hand and *not* the alternative that’d been running through their filthy little minds.

All credit to her, though, she managed to keep a completely straight face when she came up to get us and show us down. There was just a hint of a twinkle in her eye.

(G): ENGLAND WON THE ASHES!!!

OMG, ENGLAND BEAT THE SMUG-FACE AUSSIES AND WON THE GODDAM ASHES!!!

Not that you’d know it here, of course - cricket is now strictly off the conversational agenda. We tried not to be too triumphant about it, but it was *really* hard. So, we splurged on a couple of bottles of fizz and shared it around which, in turn, led to more bottles of wine and then, inevitably, to drinking games, truths, dares and passing-the-snorkel-between-the-legs. But, no one ended up naked or overboard so maybe we maintained some dignity.

Final (sob) day on board was spent at take-your-breath-away Whitehaven Beach, which is even more amazing in real life than it is in the postcards (for a change). We managed to squeeze in some emergency, top-up sunning before the fast encroaching tide threatened our sensitive equipment and we had to leg it.