Taken into consideration that, in all probability, I will be dead during my funeral, I'd like this song to be performed in the past tense by a choir of teenage boys.
Anyways, here's the grammar activity to this song:
Figure out where to fit in these sh"" "a, an, the", mother fu***!

I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to ___ clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In ___ bank Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
And my sexual performances are average

I work at customer service for _ phone company
I make 12 bucks __ hour but that's all I need
I live in _ small apartment on _ quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I can't afford _ car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
sometimes _ newspaper, sometimes _ book
___ amount of money I save this shit is off ___ hook
And i am not very good with ___ women
I'm _ pretty shy person and I'm average looking last time I had sex was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I get nervous in social situations Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
I get constipated once _ month Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother Fucka
I am just _ regular everyday normal guy...
and I get scared when I go see ___ dentist
I'm ___ "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have __ "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as _ fucking STD
if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for _ man
Ill just roll up in _ ball while you kick me in ___ back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough
You want some of this bitch?
If you rarely get laid