Millions of people watched the saga of the kid in the balloon today -- to the point that Twitter crashed -- but I didn't pay that much attention until it was all over and discovered to have been a hoax. For some reason, the story bothered me right from the start, and only later in the day did I realize why -- but, at any rate, I was saved from being suckered in by a little kid named Falcon Heene. Now, Falcon, sit down. I'm not going to beat you, but I want to tell you something. I do remember what it is like to be six. Very, very well. In fact, that's exactly how old I was in 1963 -- when "Lassie" was must-see TV every Sunday evening. Most episodes of "Lassie" were self contained. However, that particular year -- the year I was six -- Timmy and Lassie got stuck in a runaway hot air balloon, and the story (brought to you by Campbell's Soup) was continued... and continued... and continued... for what turned out to be a total of five very long weeks. I can't tell you how distressing this was at the time. When the credits rolled at the end of a show, it wasn't like you could just forget the peril Timmy and Lassie were in until next week. The story didn't stop right then and pick up the following Sunday. It was as if they were up there in that balloon all week. The wait for the next episode was agonizing. It stayed on my mind. At one point, as I recall, the balloon brushed near a mountaintop and Lassie managed to jump out. So, then, Timmy was still stuck up there, all alone. That was upsetting, too. Because even though Lassie was the smartest, most loyal dog in the world, and you knew she was going to run for help, she was in the middle of nowhere -- far, far from home -- and likely to face a coyote or something but not likely to make her way all the way back to the Martin farm, where Timmy's parents knew how to speak collie: "What's that Lassie? Timmy's fallen in the old well over by Old Man Henderson's place? Is that what you're trying to tell us, girl?" Go ahead and laugh. There's never be...